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Read my considered thoughts and opinions.
I am continuing the blog of Diamond, cat sage and haiku poet.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

I am hungry

Please get off the computer and refresh my plate for me. I require a new helping of Premium Jelly Style Cat Food for my late evening snack. And don't say, 'Shoo! Shoo, you are blocking the screen.'
It is not healthy to sit in front of the computer too long.
I need my human to be well rested and ready to serve my requirements in the morning.
I am thinking of my breakfast menu. Do you want me to scratch a few notes of it on your new storage boxes in the wardrobe? I think you had better try to remember it, as it will help you to retain your brain functions.

Kind wishes,

Sasha

Friday, October 28, 2016

Miaouw of Command

I was standing in the kitchen, using the Miaouw of Command, which I use when the human is disobedient or slow in filling my requirements, when a very distressing noise started.
She was TRYING TO IMITATE ME. Her voice was completely out of tune and of course meaningless.
I suppose she thought it was a Miaouw, but humans have no idea. Then she did it again, several times, pathetically trying to imitate the rich tones of my voice.
What a racket!
I need some peace and quiet. I think I will go and claw my rug.


Wednesday, October 26, 2016

I could be a champion

If I had some professional training, I  could  be a champion squash player.
My talent was discovered by accident last night. Lynettea and I were playing 'dash through the tunnel', 'hunt the ping pong ball' and a variety of other athletic sports, when she threw the  ping pong ball into the corner between the sofa and the wall next to the front door.
We played a game of squash with it. I dashed the ball around the walls and then   batted it back to Lynettea with my paw. We did this  number of times  as she was happy to throw the ball back for me to practice.

It might be difficult to get a proper coach for me. Lynettea could look it up on the Internet: 'Squash coaching for cats'. But we might not be able to afford the fees. In the meantime, I am in recovery mode.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Festivals

There are two festivals (at least) on today. The Festival of Ideas and the Fashion Festival.
I already have some ideas. Do I want more? Lynettea seems to think more ideas are better. Maybe that is because she is a human. Ideas to her may be like possessions - cram the house with them and then spend all your time trying to find things and keep them in order.
I prefer   a simple life: a bowl of premium catfood, some tasty crunchies and an obedient human.
The Fashion Festival is at the end of our street. The street is quiet today as they have blocked the cars and trucks from rushing up and down.
But Lynettea says I would have to be very fashionable to go. I would need my furs styled and wear my diamond studded lead. And it will be noisy and crowded.  Perhaps I will just stay home.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Friday, October 21, 2016

Diamond reins

Lynettea was tidying the laundry today, with some new plastic drawers that she bought, and she found some cat halters stored away in a bag.
'I wonder if this fits you, now, Sasha,' she said.
Then she put one of the halters on me to go out. It was black, but had a row of sparkling diamonds on the lead.
'It fits you!' she said. ' That was Diamond's walking outfit. You are a big kitty now, Sasha!'
She even had to let out the buckle a little bit. Then we went for walkies. I didn't stay out long. I checked the fences and garden and sprang on a tall pot, squashing down the violas. Their petals were soft on my paws, but I didn't like the way Lynettea said, 'Naughty cat!'


Thursday, October 20, 2016

What a day

A lot of disruption today. WE started off peacefully, with me resting in my cosy and Lynettea busy around with her usual early morning preparations for the day. It is soothing listening to her getting the house in order and I do not bother going out to see the fish being fed, as I like to curl up after my  night patrolling.
Then the doorbell rang.
I fled into my refuge under the bed and Lynettea shut the bedroom door. She knows I like my privacy when someone comes to do work around the house. She shone the torch at me before shutting the door and said something about my having to move later. I disregarded that.
After a lot of tapping around the house, I could hear more conversation and then Lynettea came in again. I couldn't understand what she was saying: something about not to worry and I would have to move.
Then the termite inspector stated to pull the bed. HORROR. INVASION. I bolted out the door and into my enclosure. Was he going to capture me and take me to the termite torture centre? I have little faith in humans. Lynettea came out and tried to calm me down. I climbed up the trellis to see if I could get out at the top.
She said, 'Naughty Sasha! Come down!'
When I came down she picked me up and cuddled me, but I was too suspicious to stay. I bolted up the trellis again.
Then she went inside. ALL WAS CALM AGAIN.
Then it got really hot. And the wind started blowing. It was too hot for me outside, so I went in and curled up on the lounge.
But now it is night again. I think I will take a look outside.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Communication skills

I could hardly believe  my  ears  when  Lynettea told me that we were growing closer in every way and understanding one another better and better each day.
When I was a kitten, I  was  ignorant of the fact that I would need to instruct the human I had been allocated. I would sit around and hope for the best, most of the time.
When I got a bit older, I  began  to  realize  that if  I  needed  practically anything done, I would need to communicate with the human. Sometimes I wonder why I was allocated this particular human and whether, even, it might have to do with sins in one of my previous lives.
As we all know, cats have many lives. Some humans think it is nine, which probably seems a lot to them. The depths  of our vast inherent cat knowledge tell us it is many more than that.
As for communication skills, I have to use a sort of pidgin to communicate with her, mostly gestures.
She has finally begun to learn that if I put my paws up to her, she needs to check my food plate.
Then it is, 'Oh, Sasha  have you eaten all that food already? I only put down fresh an hour ago!' Or some other senseless remark.  Even simple needs like opening windows or switching off the light when I go to bed seem difficult for her to comprehend.


Sunday, October 16, 2016

Cat of the House

Lynettea  says  I  am  Cat  of  the  House, which  is  a  very  important  title.
After being cuddled and massaged this morning, I fell asleep  on the bed on my  mock  wolf  fur.



Saturday, October 15, 2016

On guard all night

I am sleeping  in  at  this  late  hour  of  the  morning   because  I  was  up  all  night  guarding  the  house
 from  intruders.
Lynettea had pushed up the windows at the side and front so I could see out, as we had a warm night.
She got up early, while it was still dark and saw me staring out the window.  I miaouwed  at her and ran up and down the hall, rattling my ping-pong  ball. I have a lot of colourful ping-pong  balls, but they are  usually trapped in a container and it was  refreshing to see one on the loose.
Lynettea said, 'I am going back to bed, Sasha and you need to get some rest, so I am  going  to  shut  this  window.'
I jumped on the windowsill, but she pulled the window down in front of me. She was careful not to squash  me, particularly  not my tail.
Then she pulled down the  Venetian blind. Clatter, clatter.
After that I settled in my cosy.
Here is a picture of me sleeping in my cosy right now.
 I have a large brown paper bag that Lynettea  puts up each night on my little table, to give me some shelter from reflected lights and give me some privacy. It is from an adventure equipment shop. One day I will be an Explorer Cat.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Mummy's Gorgeous Little Sasha

I am not too sure if I like being called 'Mummy's gorgeous little Sasha'. I may be too grown up for that sort of baby talk. I am 3 and a half years old now.


Thursday, October 6, 2016

Sunshiny Day

It is sunny outside, but I am still loitering in bed. Lynettea says it is now daylight saving and time for me to get up earlier. How will that affect me?
I think I will lie here for a while and try to take that in.